If I remember correctly.

“I see sparks fly whenever you smile.“

Suddenly, he enters my life again. Two days, I started talking to David online again. It’s been a long time since we’ve have a conversation. Even though it was short because I was about to go to class, he told me that he has an interview with Disney as a financial analyst. Hopefully, he gets the position even though I know he probably won’t choose it if he has other options.

However, that’s the point. The point is that whenever I talk to him, it brings me back memories of our conversations; our deep conversations. I still haven’t met someone else who I’ve had deep conversations with. But even though it may sound sweet, it’s heartbreaking. “I thought I had you figured out. Now I’m haunted.“

I have my story to write now. I feel so much better to just write down all my thoughts into a story instead of keeping it all in my head. I’ll put it into technology when I have time.

Just going with the flow.

I told myself not to make the same mistake twice. Now here I am again…subconsciously pushing him away…but this time, I’m realizing that I am making the same mistake again. Can I stop it before it’s too late?

That just sounded like a summary of a teen romance book. I think I read too much of those.

Saturday night. It was one of the girls from my hs sisterhood’s 21st birthday so a few of us from high school went over to her school to have dinner with some of her college friends too. Her college friends planned a surprise birthday dinner for her. It was so good to see my high school friends. After dinner, we had a kickback at her apartment. I love lounging around. It’s so good just to catch up with old friends and meet new ones.

And then I saw him. That one Bruin who I met over the summer and have been talking to since. He always put me on the spot, making me drink or just asking me “jealous?” whenever he’s playing around with some guys (well, his roommate also asks me that). I don’t like being put on the spot/drinking so much so when he kept doing that, I knew he wasn’t the prince charming.  And I knew I wouldn’t like him. But somehow…this crush just keeps getting bigger. The things we talk about. The things we have in common. It kills me but I didn’t want to show it. I subconsciously play hard to get. But I know I shouldn’t do that anymore because I’m going to lose such an amazing guy. He doesn’t fit all my expectations and I should be fine with that. However, now, I’ve decided to be in the silent treatment stage. Let’s just see how far this friendship goes.

There’s something about growing up.

Wow, I’m sorry I haven’t updated my blog in two months. I promise that I’ll update regularly from now on. I’ve just been busy with my cousin’s wedding, school, and enjoying the baby stages of turning 21.

Two weeks ago, I just turned 21. Many people say that 21 becomes a new chapter in your life. Well, an ending turned into another beginning. Since my birthday, I’ve been able to get closer to my family. I was able to enjoy drinking beer with my uncles, aunts, and parents; able to go out drinking and catching up with all my cousin; and finally having some fun with at my cousin’s wedding and meeting their friends aka bridal party/groomsmen. So why am I still thinking so much?

Over the summer, I met a friend through one of my best friends. Since then, he and I have been talking a lot about traveling. When I started school, we’ve been talking about marriage proposals, traveling, and cooking. There’s a wide-range of topics we can talk about. It’s funny because the one person I never thought I would like ends up being the one person who I have the most in common with. And all my friends knew that somehow, there will something (maybe a spark) between us. But for now, I just want to stay as friends. I’m a Trojan; he’s a Bruin. If his sister becomes a Trojan, I’ll consider him as a romeo. For now, he’s just a prince.

And then my cousin and his new wife asked me so many questions about what I think of my cousin’s groomsman who is now studying grad school at UCLA. He’s mix: half Japanese, half Caucasian. It’s funny because he went to high school with someone I met at my Disney internship. This world is wayyyy to small. Therefore, this guy lives really close to me – practically our cities are neighbors. Too close. But I’m an undergraduate college girl who is leaving for Italy in three months. Let me live my life.

Speaking of Italy, I’ve been enjoying my Italian class! “Buongiorno! Mi chiamo Deborah.” And also, I’ve been learning a lot from my Italy course. Now everyone knows I’m looking forward to visiting palaces and castles. And also literary tour. Let the inner book nerd come out when I’m in Italy.

I’m tired so I’m going to bed. I’ll update more about my life again. It’s great having my parents away because I know they’re enjoying their vacation in New England. They’re have an amazing family reunion. I’m glad to see my dad having so much fun with his family again. It feels good to see all my family relatives together. One big happy family♥

From the heart, not the mind.

“Follow your heart” as they all tell me. But what if my heart tells me to do such a silly thing that embarrasses myself or hurts myself? At the same time, they tell me to “think before do“. So exactly which one do I follow?

Last time I let my head do the thinking, I nearly fainted. I hurt myself because I thought that long distance relationships never work so I never tried it. But here I am, fallen so quickly in love with someone who I just met a month ago. Even though he has almost everything and almost perfect, he’s still not up to the family’s expectations. But what if the heart finally knows that he’s the one?

I keep having reoccurring dreams…the same dream. I was working as an architect/principal architect’s assistant of a big firm. I had gotten really close with my boss and was a babysitter for his daughter. However, when his daughter was five years old, he had a heart attack. Throughout the years that I worked for him, he was writing his will. That year, I was promoted as one of the directors. But during his funeral/aftermath, I was looking for his daughter who didn’t want to come out. I was the only one who she would talk to. I told her that I would never leave her. I was only one she trusted. Throughout my times in New York, I was with a person I met this summer. We both had graduated from Columbia – for me, Master of Architecture; for him, law school. After the funeral, one of the lawyers came to the flat. He told me that the little girl’s father left the house for me – it was under my name until the little girl turned 21. In addition, the little girl was now in my hands. In the end of the meeting, the lawyer handed me a letter that my boss had written me for me. I went into his office, read it, and started crying. Then, my boyfriend came in, comforted me, and told me that we would never be apart and how we were going to handle the situation together, as a family. Then, I woke up. Each night, I have an episode so I wonder what happens tonight.

Bonding quickly.

For the past few weeks since I’ve been at Disney, I’ve gotten to know so many people already. I’m really happy that I’ve opened myself up to non-Architecture and non-USC people because that’s how networking starts. I’ve known people from UCLA to University of Texas Austin, from more Accounting majors to International Development, from people who grew up like me in Los Angeles to people who came from Europe. I’m really proud of myself for being confident enough to actually hang out with a group.

We currently have five interns working in the Corporate Real Estate and Operations departments – the Shorts building. Mostly Melanie, Petar, and I go to the intern events together Lilit is joining in. And then, there’s also the other Corporate interns – the accounting majors who I’ve gotten to know really well. Oh, and that law student who grew up in LA but loves the Midwest.

“I was enchanted to meet you.“
So what exactly is considered a date? If a boy and girl are just going out for dinner? Isn’t that more like hanging out? What is the difference between hanging out and going on a date? I’m more on the ‘hanging out’ side.

Right now, my crush life seems to be turning into a movie. First, I hung out and had dinner with another intern. We got to know each other really well. I don’t think I have talked so much to a person who I just met few weeks go. It’s quite interesting to know that even though we were born and raised in two separate parts of the country, we have a lot in common and have similar experiences/taste. He talked about his family and I do kinda want to meet his family because they sound like interesting people. Even though I always talk to him every night/text each other at least once a night, I only see him as a friend for now or at least just a summer crush. Just something fun for the summer. But every time I see him, he somehow always make me smile. I hope that if I plan to visit Austin (because of Architecture), he’ll be able to take me around.

And then, my lovely childhood crush is coming back into my life after we haven’t talked in a long time. The funny thing is one of his best friends is one of my close friend’s cousins. Small world? Yes. Oh, and this boy’s family comes from Hong Kong and China. At least he’s part Cantonese. I’m planning to ask him to be my escort to my cousin’s wedding because the boys I want to ask to be my date/escort are in school/not in LA.

On the other hand, I get my DSLR Canon 600D this upcoming week! I hope to receive it before I visit the Getty Center (again) so that I can practice taking photoshoots by taking pictures of my fellow intern friends and Richard Meier’s design skills. Great, my friends are going to be questioning me when we visit it next weekend…since I’m the only Architecture major in the group and they all know now that I’m a big design nerd.

Disneyland in August. I think I’m going to have a big group to hang out with by then. I’m satisfied.

Ten million fireflies.

It’s been bothering me. Can it be love at first sight, destiny, or is it only in my head?

Lately, I’ve discovered that I have a major summer crush on an another intern who doesn’t even work at my department. Actually, he doesn’t even work at the same campus. Instead, he’s an accounting major and want to work in tax. He also lives in Texas and he said he’ll probably stay in Texas after he graduates because he loves it too much to get away. How he feels about Texas is how I feel about California. However, I want to get away from LA after I’m done with undergraduate and experience another part of the country or world.

But that’s not the point to this post. Since the first day I met him, we’ve been getting to know each other really well even though we were only strangers. Then, we exchanged numbers and now we’re texting each other every day/every night. He’s smart – always reading, watches shows too, and is a musician – he’s in marching band/drumline. He’s also tall. The only trouble is that I feel a piece of the connection is missing but I just can’t figure it out. Right now, I’m just taking it one day at a time and we’re just friends…for now.

Something about summer.

Two weeks into the Disney family.

My bad. I haven’t been updating this in more than a month. However, many amazing events happened to me during the past few weeks after my last entry.

I did have an amazing final review for my school project. Now, I’m interning at the Corporate Real Estate – Space Management/Portfolio Management. It’s really fun because I get to see all the departments in Walt Disney Company and also work with some architects who are doing the redesigning of floors. I’m also part of the Summer Internship Program at Disney so there are many intern events such as Executive Speakers, social events, and Disney Intern classes.

Today, the Disney Intern class was about ‘communication with style’.  My work style is ‘expressive – amiable’ which definitely defines my work habit/personality. We split up into our style groups and I definitely got along really well with the people in my group. They’re so fun to be around with. We all had similar answers and definitely clicked the instant we sat down at the table.

There are many students who are also from USC so it was fun to meet them because I don’t exactly socialize with non-Architecture majors. There are many interns who are not from California but came to intern in LA. I can’t wait to hang out with them and take them around.

And the buzz going around…there are two adorable boys are so sweet and make me smile every time I talk or see them. I can’t wait to get to know them more.